The Forty Rules of Love

Introduction

 Elif Shafak, a renowned Turkish-British author conceives the essence of the Religion of Love as embodied in Sufi mysticism in her work The Forty Rules of Love. To this end, she portrays the meeting of two historical characters The Shams of Tabrizi, ‘a wandering dervish with unconventional ways and heretical proclamation’ and Mawlana Jala ad-Din Rumi, a thirteenth-century Islamic scholar and Persian poet of unparalleled stature and fame. Their encounter transformed Rumi from a mainstream cleric to a committed mystic, passionate poet and an advocate of love.’

Parallel to the story of Shams and Rumi, the author conceives Ella Rubinstein as a mother in the twenty-first century beset with existential crisis seeking answers to an expanding void in her heart. 

Plot

                              Ella Rubinstein, a middle-aged dedicated homemaker and mother of three children, lived in a large splendid Victorian house in Northampton, Massachusetts. She had everything one could imagine for an ideal life- a busy home, a bank balance, insurance policies, landed properties and friends. Ella and her husband David had shared common visions and worked hard to attain them.  And, they were having a seemingly successful married life until she received a diamond pendant and a card on a Valentine’s that sounded like an obituary to Ella. She realized she was so dependent on her husband and children that she lacked the skill sets to sail on the murky waters of life. In other words, she perceived that her family thought of her as someone who lacked survival techniques to lead a life of her own. Nobody, including Ella, could explain what happened when she filed a divorce notice in 2008 after twenty years of marriage. She never expected her life would take a U-turn when she got an editor’s job at a literary agency in Boston. Her first assignment was to review a debut novel of an unknown European author with whom she shared little in common.  When she started with ‘Sweet Blasphemy’ she was least interested in meeting the deadline.

 A phone call from Michelle, the publishing agent with whom Ella is employed finds her off guard. Ella confesses that she can’t emotionally connect with a subject like thirteenth-century Sufi mysticism though she highly regards the poet, Rumi. She prefers something familiar to her.  Of late she feels the ebb of good spirits after falling out with her elder daughter on her decision to marry someone outside their community. She apologizes that she is not in a good state of mind to write a report on the manuscript with her. Michelle looks at Ella’s stance as completely unprofessional and amateurish. She must consider herself fortunate to be employed at forty when people half her age are ready to take up her job. After all, one of the qualities of great literature is to connect people to distant lands and cultures. Ella is convinced and succumbs to Michelle’s words.

Ella’s thoughts are disturbed as if a stone has fallen into the tranquil waters of a lake. She gets more excited about Shams, the protagonist of the novel Sweet Blasphemy. Henceforth her life will change in ways no one could foresee or imagine.  

Elif Shafak connects this thirteenth-century story to Ella Rubinstein through a common factor called Aziz Z Zahara. Aziz is the author of Sweet Blasphemy with whom Ella develops a special bond. Ella believes that Aziz is the Shams of Tabriz who would address the grey areas of her life and make it more complete and fulfilling.

Major Takeaways

I believe, there is no way a reader’s heart can go untouched with the pearls of wisdom spliced into the events in the novel. It is about the true nature of our souls seeking a perpetual state of happiness.1. 

     1. How we see God directly reflects how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means, too much fear and blame are welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so we are.

    2.  No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It’s like we have lost something and need to get it back. What that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do, even fewer manage to go out and look for it.                                                                                                                          

 3. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy,’ whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge! Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures. 

4. Most of the world’s problems stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know becomes obsolete. That cannot be put into words but can be grasped only through silence. 

5. Patience does not mean to endure passively. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means, to be shortsighted and not able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to be full.

6. The quest for love changes us. There is no seeker among those who search for Love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you begin to change within and without 

7. Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? 

8. God is busy completing your work outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress moving slowly but inexorably toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.

 9. It is easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible and that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only love what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God. 

10. Real filth is one inside. The rest washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water and it is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.